Funny Status Messages

   Rick Perry has only done 3 things as Energy Secretary: Deny climate change, attack a gay student, and... I can't remember the third thing.

   I guess I missed the chapter in "The Art of the Deal" about getting rejected by the Freedom Caucus.

   Trump is already claiming that voter fraud is to blame for losing health care vote.

   What burns Donald Trump more, losing the Trumpcare bill or his herpes that he referred to as his "personal Vietnam"?

   New chapters in The Art of the Deal sequel: 1) Insult Your Way to an Unpassable Health Bill. 2) Build the Wall and Make Mexico Pay Nothing.

   Who needs health insurance when this current administration makes you want to die every half hour on the hour?

   Democrat bill would force Trump to disclose White House and Mar-a-Lago visitors, including Vladimir Putin and Kanye West.

   Devin Nunes is also sorry: 1) He told your abusive husband where you were hiding. 2) You were born poor. 3) He didn't ask Vlad for more cash.

   Donald and Melania Trump reportedly sleep in separate bedrooms. That's a good idea, Melania's crying keeps Donald awake at night.

   Today reminds me of that old Schoolhouse Rock episode, "How a Bill Becomes an Embarrassing Failure By Paul Ryan."

   Global Warming Upside all thanks to the Republicans: Beach Front property in Oklahoma.

   I'm watching the Puerto Rico Open on TV and I don't a single one of the golfers is Puertorican...

   White House, Republican. Senate: 52% Republican. House: 54% Republican. Yet, Trump blames the Democrats for his failure? Does anyone not see the stupidity in this???

   Report from the White House: Trump is so depressed right now, he doesn't want to be peed on.

   It isn't the alternative facts that makes the White House dangerous, it's the alternative reality.

   Trump didn't want to drain the swamp, he wanted to rule the swamp. He failed at both.

   My four year old understands leverage and negotiation better than Trump.

   People sometimes confuse deal-making skills with having enough money to bully the little guys into doing what you want.

   Trump will make tremendous deals, incredible deals, as long as he doesn't face yuuuuuge obstacles like a large GOP majority in the House.

   Spicer, Nunes, Conway and Trump. These are the biggest jokes ever.