Funny Status Messages

   My bank just charged me money for not having enough money in the bank. Turns out I can't even afford to be broke.

   Some of the buildings in town don't have a 13th floor, because everybody thinks that the 13th floor is bad mojo. If you live in a building like that on the '14th' floor, I'm here to point out the elephant in the room, which is that you can call it whateve

   I really think it's time to take the warning labels off of everything and let stupidity work itself out of the gene pool.

   I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

   97% of what I worry about, never happens. Apparently worry works.

   My grief counselor just died. I really don’t care. I guess we made progress.

   Every single morning I get hit by the same bike. It's a vicious cycle...

   The weather forecast: Snow possible, anywhere from 0 to 145 inches. Maybe. Could start at 5,6,7,8,9 O'clock. Maybe today or maybe not. Possibly none.

   I don't always get blocked on social media. But when I do, it's usually a good indication I was right and they couldn't handle it.

   I run every day for 20 minutes. If I miss a day I add 20 minutes to the next day. This has really been a game changer. Tomorrow I'm supposed to run for 4 months.