Timmah Funny Status Messages

   ‎(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Mondays

   The Sleep Number bed commercial came on & the spokeswoman asked "So what's YOUR sleep number?" I hollered out "80 proof."

   When a tornado touches down in Oklahoma, they issue a PDS Broadcast. PDS must mean 'Pretty Damn Scary'

   Sometimes I have trouble coming to terms with my crazy. Then I drink about it, and it all works out.

   If the glove doesn't fit, you must use lubricant. -Diddy...,,, probably