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01-25-2012 02:07 by
Nobody
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I bought a cheese grater for my blind uncle. He said it was the most violent thing he ever read.
27
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02-09-2012 09:57 by
Nobody
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In my dream, I was just about to have sex with Meagan Fox, but my alarm went off. You can say I got clock blocked.
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02-09-2012 10:12 by
Nobody
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Facebook's been down for 15 minutes and I'm freaking out because I don't know if anyone's having babies, eating food, or sad about work.
27
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02-09-2012 13:36 by
Nobody
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We are all born sexual creatures; it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift. ~ Marilyn Monroe
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02-12-2012 12:00 by
Nobody
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Every so often I like to stick my head out the window and look up and smile for a satellite picture.
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02-16-2012 09:47 by
Nobody
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If I had an Australian Accent I would never shut up
36
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02-17-2012 13:54 by
Nobody
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I only live for two reasons: 1. I was born 2. I ain't dead yet
18
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02-28-2012 05:06 by
Nobody
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It's always "going to be okay" when it's not happening to you.
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02-28-2012 13:45 by
Nobody
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You know society is screwed up when a 10-year-old girl worries more about her weight than where her friends are hiding.
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03-10-2012 04:33 by
Nobody
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Sexual pleasure (When done right) is a passion to which all others are subordinate, but in which they all unite.
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03-10-2012 04:54 by
Nobody
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My dad used to beat me with a camera. I still get flash backs.
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03-10-2012 12:53 by
Nobody
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My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it.
41
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03-12-2012 13:42 by
Nobody
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There's an evil intention behind every gallon of gas.
14
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03-12-2012 13:58 by
Nobody
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I woke up one day and your name just didn't make me smile anymore.
48
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03-13-2012 12:37 by
Nobody
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2013. The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section to the comedy section.
13
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03-14-2012 13:20 by
Nobody
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Rearrange the letters to spell an important part of the human body that is most useful when erect: PNESI [A. spine]
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03-14-2012 13:25 by
Nobody
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0
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I didn't text you. Vodka texted you.
49
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03-14-2012 13:27 by
Nobody
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0
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Sometimes Karma takes way too long. I would rather beat the crap out of you NOW!
35
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03-15-2012 12:46 by
Nobody
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I'm one boob, you're the other boob and together...we're Breast friends.
47
23
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03-15-2012 13:13 by
Nobody
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