Ance Larmstrong Funny Status Messages

   People always ask me, where do I come up with my status', do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.

   never make presumptions about who will get chicken pox...I don't like to blemish my reputation by making rash predictions

   It is so cold, when I came to work this morning I saw a hitchiker holding up a photograph of his thumb.

   Apparently rumors were going around that the Hip Hop reggae artist known as "Shaggy" had died due to a stabbing in a bar last week. Mr. Boombastic reassured all of his fans by saying "It Wasn't Me"

   When asked if she was lip-synching or not at the presidential inauguration, Beyonce replied "I would blame it on the rain, but unfortunately it wasn't raining just really cold, and girl you know it's true."