@rush1oc Funny Status Messages

   Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

   Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife....

   Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing....

   First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down...

   To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness...

   A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice...

   I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

   A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his work.

   A friend in need is a pest indeed.

   Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

   The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

   A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

   Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

   Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

   "Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."