Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon An auto-flush urinal made me feel insecure about my manhood by flushing while I was peeing, as if to say "nothing registers as being there."
←Rate | 08-18-2010 15:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon glad to hear the penicillin worked. Better luck next time..
←Rate | 08-24-2010 21:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 20:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be very helpful to me if the rest of you would please stop striving for excellence. Thanks!
←Rate | 08-25-2010 20:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like Superman, I have a Fortress of Solitude. But mine flushes.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:15 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon All you get when you pick my pocket is practice...
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:17 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time to do some stuff around the house. Sit around it... walk around it... lie around it...
←Rate | 08-26-2010 22:12 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon WHOA! Someone just explained to me that I don't get paid for updating my status. I'm going to miss you guys.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 22:56 by Aaron Comments (2)  


   messageicon I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
←Rate | 08-29-2010 22:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon That's a nice suit. When did the clown die?
←Rate | 09-01-2010 09:09 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to make sweet love to your face with my fist. Don't worry, I'll use protection. Wouldn't want my hand to get hurt.
←Rate | 09-02-2010 18:27 by Aaron Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don't know what my credit score is but I'm pretty sure I'm losing.
←Rate | 09-02-2010 19:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can stop a speeding bullet. Once.
←Rate | 09-04-2010 13:20 by Aaron Comments (1)  


   messageicon "I drive like lightening." "You drive fast?" "No. I hit trees."
←Rate | 09-04-2010 16:40 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it ain't broke, ask it for five dollars.
←Rate | 09-04-2010 16:40 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure, I've got buns of steel. Just look in the breadbox.
←Rate | 09-04-2010 23:53 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self: I think we should see other people.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 15:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't know what you've got until you visit your doctor.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 17:14 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon We celebrate Labor Day by not working. Which is kind of like celebrating Arbor Day by paving the backyard.
←Rate | 09-06-2010 12:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just caught my girlfreind in bed with my best friend. I threw her out, then grabbed him and shouted, "Bad Dog! Bad Dog!"
←Rate | 09-07-2010 21:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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