Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Question, Does the term don't drop the soap in jail apply to women prisons?

   to the lady with all the hot selfies who claims she could steal my husband if she wanted... I will have him ready for you at 3

   If everything tastes like us, then why do we have to die? –Chickens

   Members of Generation X have no definable traits other than being responsible for breeding the misguided Generation Z whackoffs.

   GaryKoenig, please, for the love of God STOP, you lame asshole.

   Look in the mirror. Urghhhh!!!

   Oh look at this! You're so slow it takes you almost 12 hours to come up with a comeback. Unbelievable!

   The closest this guy will come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle.

   This guy's family tree doesn't have enough branches.

   You give up or are you thirsty for more?