Funny Status Messages

   TSA is no longer going to use that scanner that shows passengers in the nude. They made an executive decision Today after the View Cast boarded a flight at LAX.

   6 am too early to drink

   No Epstein files will be released. Hunter Biden is not going to be President. AOC isn't either. Trump's not going to prison, neither is Obama. Cut the partisan nonsense already, you numbskulls.

   GaryKoenig, please stop with horrible jokes. You're the lamest asshole on social media.

   You are one big kunt.

   Not going to happen! I'm the king of lame comedy and I love it!

   thinks that Facebook is like a college dormitory. No matter the hour, there's always someone up. Also, someone is drunk.

   Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from all women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

   Do you suppose Ghosts believe in People??

   I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak. (another great post by Gary K.

   As a Social Networking Expert, I have evaluated your social media activity and your status updates. My conclusion: You're all crazy.

   what would happen if you're scared half to death twice

   did not wake up this morning. I came to.

   But... Crazy people have more fun.

   My neighbor lady has been married so many times she has rice marks on her face..

   my emotional support animal is a chicken. Four piece with a biscuit.

   Listen, baby, I can deal with the herpes, the gluten intolerance, and the irritable bowel syndrome. But I will not date someone who listens to music through their phone's speaker.

   I miss the days when Иiggers knew their place.