Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Just when I think I'm not a very good Catholic, I remember that the previous Pope wasn't a very good Catholic either.

   Our world would be a much better place if Jesus would hold a press conference.

   Your bark is worse than your bite... but your leg humping is quite pleasurable.

   "The president's economic reset over the next 3-6 months might be a little rocky...." A little? BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

   Aww poor baby! Do you want some cheese with your wine?

   F*ck cancer

   Marginalized People refers to those who prefer margarine over butter.

   Aliens: Planet Earth is strange. The male of the human species' primary focus is to insert a body part into a stench filled opening of a female body part. There are exceptions that also make no sense..

   You can post jokes by successful comedians here, yet you get some los€r flaming the t¿umbs d○wn tab a hundred times. The sorriest s¡t€ on the internet.

   There you go.

   Come on be funny again

   If you're not Catholic. Kindly shut the f**k about the new Pope.

   I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27.

   I dont know who baby daddy need to hear this but Walmart got Mother’s Day cards in 4 packs

   I think the salesman at Bob's Discount Furniture misunderstood when I told him I wanted one nightstand.

   Next time you go to Cedar Point and ride on a roller coaster, take some spare bolts with you and tell the person in front of you, “Dude, these came out of your seat

   Oh, you lost your phone and it’s on silent? That’s too bad. "If you liked it, then you should’ve put a ring on it"

   I guess CVS is going green. This morning's receipt for cough drops was only 27 inches long

   I'm pretty much still in control of most of my bodily functions.. Last time I farted, it was almost all gas.

   shoutout to whoever hacked my doordash account and sent $140 worth of wingstop to my address instead of theirs