bill Funny Status Messages

   Screw Earth Day!! I used to be a planet too.... - Pluto

   Happy Easter and remember kids, watch out for Obama supporters. They will take 1/2 your eggs and give them to the kids who were to lazy to hunt for their own......

   I Haven't been to church in a couple years, sure hope I don't catch on fire........

   living the dream ...one fist pump at a time

   The strangest thing about Obama's birth certificate is that it lists Joe Biden as a witness to his birth. Other than that, it appears fine........

   BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump demands to know what country Latifah is the queen of...

   Now we finally know what Obama was hiding on his birth certificate. Under favorite band, it says: "Nickleback."

   ‎ I really hope Prince William doesn't get cold teeth, err, I mean feet!

   I'm at the wedding, you guys just can't see me because I've got one of those weird hats on.

   Got Bin Laden AND interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win for Obama all around.

   I hope Obama held the gun sideways when he shot Bin Laden.

   I had a thought......Maybe instead of defunding Sesame Street, we should defund Pakistan. F them losers!!

   For those who will celebrate Cinco de Mayo with "authentic" 36% beef tacos, we pray to the Lord.

   Oops....Apparently throwing fireworks at people in McDonald's parking lot & yelling Happy Cinco De Mayo is frowned upon : (

   Alicia Silverstone named her son Bear Blue? I wonder if she would have liked it if her mother named her Racoon Red? WTF is wrong with these celebs........

   I'm not sure who the heck Martha Graham is, but damn she inspired a great Google Doodle today.........

   I smash mirrors, walk under ladders, spill salt & cross paths with black cats. Be afraid... be very, very afraid, its Friday the 13th!!!

   It's Friday the 13th! Want to get lucky?

   Rebecca Black - "its friiday, friiday" *Jason Voorhees walks in stabs her in the face and goes home* yeah, Friday the 13th.

   Big shout out to Jason Voorhees! Party at Camp Crystal Lake tonight with a lot of love making....Be there or be square!!