Aaron Funny Status Messages

   i'll be burger king and you'll be mcdonalds...ill be doing it my way and you'll be lovin it

   so.. my lawyer says to her lawyer if she thinks she gettin that yacht then she's a little dingy

   you wouldn't happen to have your missing DVD player's remote... would you?

   What would happen if Superman consumed 10 Lbs of laxative?

   I have all the money I'll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

   I love to go shopping and freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I'd like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, “Extra medium.”

   Do you know the four signs of growing old? 1. Forgetting names, 2. Forgetting faces, 3. Forgetting to zip up, 4. Forgetting to zip down.

   A skeleton was trying to fart in a crowded place but in the end it couldn't because it had no guts.

   The reverse side also has a reverse side?

   Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

   After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.

   The liquor store advertised.. We De-Liver

   The BP oil is seeping into Bedrock. I'll bet Fred Flintstone is furious.

   "ur cute when ur mad"...... "well immabout to get real adorable"

   Finally returning your knife. Just got it out of my back.

   I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.

   When you say, “Jump!” I say, “Under which bus?”

   The most disturbing part of those Orkin commercials is that the people seem used to speaking with 6 foot tall insects.

   She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

   Yea your in my room. I can be as almost naked as I want...