bill Funny Status Messages

   Shout out to everybody that had to work on President's Day bwahahaha

   $60 to fill my gas tank last night. It's the apocalypse!!! I'm going to Walmart, buying me a water hose and I'm going on a siphon spree.........

   I ate all of the Girl Scout cookies : ( Do you think Michelle Obama would mind if I buy some more??

   there any way we can blame gas prices on Charlie Sheen?

   giving up Pabst Blue Ribbon for Lent.. first few days are always the hardest

   Fat Tuesday, the day obese people look forward to. The day they think it's socially acceptable to wear leggings and belly shirts. It's not.

   Apparently 'Fat Tuesday' doesn't constitue telling fatties they're fatties.

   Hey, it's Fat Tuesday, or just Tuesday, as it's known at Kirstie Alley's house.

   Glad I noticed it's Ash Wednesday so I don't tell someone they have dirt on their forehead...

   heading out to track down that homeless guy holding the "End Of Days Is Coming", "Repent Now" sign at the corner....Be right back : )

   FYI West Coast friends: If your just waking up, you might want to put floaties on. Just saying......

   Why can't the President tackle the real issues? Like mandating all clocks auto-program when there is a time change!

   Those 50 workers that stayed and are trying to stop full nuclear meltdown at the reactor in Japan are super heroes or the last of the Kamikaze's as far as I'm concerned...God Speed!!

   I guess the Obama's need another vacation to Rio to take a break... Apparently picking all 4 #1 seeds in his March Madness bracket was just to much on him?? What a SLACKER!!!

   Not to worry Obama will fix everything while he's on vacation in Rio this weekend......

   Did the Colonel really call President Obama his son?? Why am I not surprised.........

   ‎ So, did France like lose at rock, paper, scissors or something? I mean France?

   France, once again, takes up the fight in the defense of freedom and liberty.....

   Supermoon is awesome!!! Oh wait, that's a streetlight.....

   Party like a rockstar is no longer acceptable. You party like Charlie Sheen, or you don't party at all !