Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

   Unless the only drama in this relationship is just us out of alcohol, I am indifferent to it.

   Judging by these FB & T witter quotes attributed to her, Marilyn Monroe sure got smart four decades after she died.

   People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.

   CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he's called "beautiful" on Facebook today.

   My master plan is just a Post-it note that says “drink more.”

   I stole every word of this status from a dictionary.

   Don't be afraid to love again. Just kidding

   My dog says that dress is grey.

   cutting the fat off bacon is like cutting the bacon off bacon

   She says she is surprised to see me but her drawn eyebrows tell a different story.

   Free weed > free drinks

   If love is a battlefield then I keep dying in basic training.

   "There's strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.

   Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.

   I'm "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.

   I'm living proof that misery actually hates company.

   Don't let anyone use Earth Day as an excuse to peer pressure you into going outside. Your couch and your bed are both located on Earth too.

   It's like my kids don't even believe how cool I was in the 90s.

   shhhhhh..it's really hard to imagine you're someone else when you talk

   Wait, don't go. I can ruin it some more.