wolf Funny Status Messages

   planning to do something today, but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday. Maybe I should be a politician..

   I'm the one who screwed you all, but thanks for blaming the black guy.. George. Bush

   If I could take it all back right now, I wouldn't..i would have done more sh@t that people said that I shouldn't..

   Does this status make my wall look big..

   Alright, who left the bag of idiots open..

   Somthing always tells me, be camera ready when I go into Walmart..

   did you just say something?Or did your brain fart!

   I wonder if I tell my kids I'm calling Santa, will work after Christmas too!

   This weekends forecast: Mostly drunk, scatterd shots and a slight chance of falling down..

   Surviving this massive amount of "family time" by pretending they are mental patients and I'm their case manager.

   Winter Weather: where a couple of inches will keep a woman in bed all day.

   For this is a special time when family And friends get togetherfor fun. Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days, In this festive season of holidays and always!!!

   See, you think I give a sh@t.. Wrong! In fact, while you talk,I'm thinking; How can I give less of a sh@t?that's why I look so interested..

   First the doctor gave me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me..

   January: that special time of the year when a children's Christmas toys & their parents are BOTH broke..

   Derek Rowe Lease just signed... Movin away from the old meth and crack heads next to some nice occasional cocaine users..

   If you want bright eyed and bushy tailed, go chase a squirrel!

   Let's drink tequila till you don't remember what I suggest next..

   Q: What do you call a Packers fan holding a bottle of champagne after the Super Bowl? A: Waiter.

   An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.