Fazzy Funny Status Messages

   What with unwanted pregnancies, social diseases and failed relationships, the Love Boat reboot will be titled the "Tug" Boat.

   Recent studies have shown that dogs don't actually have a fear of fireworks. Their reactions are based on their being upset at not being able to shoot off their own.

   Would the last Baby Boomer to enter heaven please bring a copy of Abbey Road?

   I had a peanut butter sandwich on white bread with no jelly and nothing to drink. Long story short: I'm at the ER getting treated for Lockjaw.