BEGO Funny Status Messages

   There’s “hell” in hello, “good” in goodbye, “lie” in believe, “over” in lover, “end” in friend, “ex” in “next”, & “if” in life.

   To skip any youtbue ad just change ‘youtbue’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.

   Education should be free for all people willing to learn!

   Kanye should’ve interrupted Miley’s performance to say that Beyonce’s as$ would look better in those shorts.

   If the person is more than 25 feet away from you, holding the door is creepy.

   Little brothers XBOX broke. Go to new one. Worthless Walmart employee was too lazy to find one. Tells me they are all out. So I stand in front of her and buy it online with in store pickup so she has to find it. BAM

   I am pretty pissed that the NSA is monitoring 75% of our Internet traffic, and yet still hasnt responded to my invitation to Candy Crush.

   That one ex you don't want the world to know you dated.

   Crazy alert: I just read that some girls are buying positive pregnancy tests on Craiglist to pressure their boyfriends into popping the question. If your girlfriend does this, leave her immediately!

   I told my girlfriend to get me a newspaper. Dont be silly, she replied. Borrow my iPad. That spider never knew what f$$ing hit it.

   I don’t care how many weights you can lift. You’ll never be Badass as the 64yo lady that swam 110miles from Cuba to FL, pus%ies.

   Hey graffiti artists, how the hell did you get up there?

   “After five guys I feel like a bad person,” doesn’t sound right even though I’m referring to a cheeseburger with fries.

   There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.

   It’s crazy that when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer, it’s “art” and “music”…. but if I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot

   f a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.

   t’s true we don’t know what we’ve got until its gone, but we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives

   I cant wait till I am old and I go up to my grandkids and be like. Did you know that back in my day Eevee only had three evolutions. And they be like, Shut uo grandpa no one plays Pokemon anymore..

   Everyone is going to places like Italy, Las Vegas, Cancun and to Europe for vacation and I am just here like, Hey there, bed. You look really nice tonight.

   hroughout the shutdown if you need someone to ignore your basic needs while taking a sizable percentage of your earnings, I’m here for you.