Missy Funny Status Messages

   If I ran the country, things would be a lot better. Well…for me anyway

   When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think

   This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FriSatSun.

   Todays forcast is sarcastic with a 60% chance of STFU!! Now to Bob with sports....

   Wine is constant proof that God loves us & loves to see us happy:)

   Sweet as heaven, hot as hell, born to tease, taught to please!

   Just because I missed you, doesn't mean I wished you were there!

   You had better look like your profile picture or your buying me drinks till you do!

   Patience is not a virtue! Its a gift. I'm not gifted!

   Said to herself "Self", and I knew it was me cause I recongized my own voice & was wearing my underwear "you should really make me another rum & coke"!

   uuuggg one of these days I would like to wake up independantly wealthy so I can go back to bed!

   Im sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid ... I really thought you already knew!

   If I said something to offend you .. tell me... I may want to use it again:)

   I Like my Job on my day's off, I LOVE my job on paydays!

   I never said I knew what what I was doing, I said I was going to do it anyways!

   Feisty & Non compliant, can I get a behavior plan over here?

   Dear Mr Sandman ~ I think you lost my Address!

   Some day's should come with a warning label: Today's gonna suck, so bring alcohol.

   If my ship ever did come in, with my luck, I am pretty sure it would be named the Titanic!

   Laxatives are the best cough suppressant.