@DonSicks Funny Status Messages

   I don't know what Squidward's problem is. I would love to live next to SpongeBob!

   So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got their homework done. ;)

   Life is s( o )( o ) much funnier when you have a dirty mind.

   Dear radio stations, You do know there are more than 5 songs in the world, right? Sincerly annoyed listeners.

   Teacher : "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!?!?!" - Student: "Are you asking me out? O_O"

   Who says I can't cook? You've obviously never tasted my cereal!

   C.L.A.S.S = Come Late And Start Sleeping.

   "What comes after the letter T?" Normal People: "U" Me: "Wait. A, B, C, D, E, F, G....."

   Cartoons: The only place where you can wear the same thing everyday, and nobody cares.

   THE POWER OF THE WINKY FACE: "Hey, Want some of my banana? :)" ... "Hey, Want some of my banana? ;)"

   *Girl on Facebook* "I need a boyfriend for the winter to keep me warm" ...or you can just buy a coat

   Gum: The real key to popularity. ;)

   The teacher asked me what book I read this summer & I said, "Facebook."

   I wasnt that drunk..." "Dude, you were telling 'Yo mama' jokes to orphans...

   "I wasnt that Drunk", "Dude you were in my pool trying to find Nemo"

   Never trust someone that has 0 text messages in their phone.

   "Have fun" is just a nicer phrase for "have a horrible time without me."

   Lil Wayne Engaged, Wiz Khalifa Engaged, Snooki Pregnant & Engaged.... Everybody got a ring but Lebron.

   It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when someone likes you.

   You know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch.