Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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I think it's only a matter of time until "Security Cameras of Walmart" is a hit reality show.
Here's how I define marriage: Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Whenever someone asks "Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me"? Come prepared! Keep a banana lodged in the depths of your underwear, pull in out and say "It's just a banana. I'm never happy to see you"!
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05-05-2024 07:57 by Jas
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That awkward moment when you realize even Hitler found his soulmate, yet you can't even seem to find that last bag of potato chips in the cabinet.
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05-05-2024 07:51 by Jas
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I went to the grocery store today and the cashier said my total was $208.47. I wanted a second opinion so I went to self checkout and my new total was $43.20.
I just realized why this month is called May. It may rain, it may snow, it may be 70 degrees or it may be 20 degrees.
I ask you , who Hasn't drank a bottle of fireball then went down the park slide naked at least once your honor ?
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05-02-2024 18:01
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I can handle most things in life. But hearing someone chew their food is not one of them.
Shout-out to everyone lying in bed just scrolling on their phone.
If you ever meet a girl that admits she's wrong, apologizes, and changes her ways, dump her because she might be a man. Women don't do that.