Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   "Not only do I not know what's going on, but I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did."

   not smarter than a 5th grader :(

   lovin' it

   "happy and you know it, so clap your hands!"

   Feeding your dog Chocolate

   totally voting for Pedro

   diagonally parked in a parallel universe

   selling his soul for a bag of skittles

   having an excellent adventure with Bill and Ted

   the coolest thing since string cheese

   dispatching her gang of flying monkeys.

   eating all the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms cereal...

   defying society's law of average.

   "Two's company, three's...the musketeers!!!!!"

   bored of thinking of funny things to write in status and isn't going to bother this time

   swearing to drunk that he is not god...

   depressed because you walked in the room. Where's my happy pills

   "life is just like Mario brothers, you have to slay a few dragons to get to the princess"

   glad he crashed the wedding.

   missing the way things were...where the F is that time machine?