Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   going to DEFCON 4

   disobeyed orders

   s eating out.... At home. ;-)

   doesn't want to grow up.... he's a Toys R' Us kid!

   dangerous to your health.

   thinks webbed feet are a huge turn-on.

   playing strip solitaire.

   used to jog a mile everyday, then I found a shortcut...

   moving the furniture out of the room because the dog and I are going to breakdance battle...oh it is ON!!!!

   thinks it is wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

   riding the ponies outside of Wallmart be back when I run out of quarters.

   spinning in his new office chair so I am away, now I am back, away again and back.

   You win some, you loose some, but it's all good if you get some :)

   if I'm ever abducted by a group of hostile aliens and they demand to see my leader; I think I'll show them my wife

   if I'm ever abducted by a group of hostile and they demand to meet my leader; I think I'll show them my wife

   logged in and saw you logged in.Then I logged off and logged in 2 hours again - you were still logged in.Get A Life!OK yeah I was logged in all this time too.(feel shame)

   changed his profile picture. Now he looks a little less ugly.

   showing his colleagues your profile and they're all laughing at your picture.

   forgot to stop the Q-tip when their was resistence

   happy that his Judgement Day is not Today