Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon God gave you them shoes, to fit you So put them on and wear them... be yourself man, be proud of who you are Even if it sounds corny... don't ever let no one tell you, you ain't beautiful
←Rate | 01-26-2010 20:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon texting this fb status right now because someone really annoying just sat across from me and I want to look busy.  
←Rate | 01-26-2010 19:56 by Abe Comments (0)  


   messageicon secretly hoping the sex tape I made with Lois from Family guy is leaked to TMZ
←Rate | 01-26-2010 19:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 19:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon advises; never pass a bathroom, never waste a woody and never, ever trust a fart.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 18:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..i got tired of the grass always being greener on the other side, so that's where I've been sending my dog to relieve herself.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 17:31 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon i hide behind the tears of a clown
←Rate | 01-26-2010 17:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you cry, I cry; you laugh, I laugh; but when you jump off a bridge into a lake... i'll be ready with the boat :D
←Rate | 01-26-2010 16:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon busier than a one-armed man in an ass-whipping contest!
←Rate | 01-26-2010 16:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men expecting regular women to act like porn stars is similar to women expecting men to act like the sensitive hunks in romantic comedies.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 16:39 by randizzle Comments (0)  


   messageicon death gotta be easy cause life is hard. It'll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred
←Rate | 01-26-2010 16:36 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard there might be a Goonies 2 coming out so he is going to eat 15lbs of deep fried chicken, 82 big macs, 104 bags of cheetos and drink 38ltrs of pop in the course of 1 week just so he can get the 'Chunk' role and bust out the 'Truffle Shuffle'
←Rate | 01-26-2010 16:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ugggh.. won't work just end so I can hurry up and go to fight club already?
←Rate | 01-26-2010 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 13:57 by DeAdMaN Comments (0)  


   messageicon the guy who said women are bad at maths, missed out that they also divide the number of people that the slept with by 3!
←Rate | 01-26-2010 13:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea,does that one person enjoy it?
←Rate | 01-26-2010 12:21 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't understand you.... I don't speak fluent bullsh!t
←Rate | 01-26-2010 11:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing in life is free.... Someone always pays!
←Rate | 01-26-2010 11:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering when a Jehovah Witness dies and gets to Heaven if God hides behind the Pearly Gate and pretends he's not in?
←Rate | 01-26-2010 10:39 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend
←Rate | 01-26-2010 09:49 by Mduduzi Gama Comments (0)  




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