Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   OMG another wardrobe malfunction at the Super Bowl! Did anyone else see Pete Townsend's belly????

   ..oh dear. Some special ed class somewhere is missing a student..

   ..lost £50 on the Super Bowl. That's the last time I bet on a horse.

   you better keep yo' hands off my Momma and keep yo' hands off my Dorito's.

   thinking about building a house made of unopened Bud Light cans and bottles....[The commercial inspired me]

   anything is possible with boobs

   Great..now the lamest sports slogan ever WHO DAT will never die..

   What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the super bowl?....Dallas Cowboys

   trying to get a grip on reality, but the gravity of the situation hit me like a falling brick. It broke my hold, so now I can't get back. I guess I'm stuck in this fantasy world for a while.

   TCP/IP, UDP, the seven layers of the OSI Model, encapsulation, decapsulation, data, packets, frames, bits, subnets, routers, switches, RIP, Gateways, and many other things have stolen my sanity this evening, and I don't even care.

   Thought the commercial showing the president as a chicken (or was it a c@ck) was pretty funny

   Would like to thank all you Colt fans for talking so much Sh!t it makes winning so much better!

   Gary Busey kicked @ss during his halftime performance.....

   Hey Facebook, thanks for updating the style of your page for the 15th time ... I am really amazed that I get a different segment of the news feed everytime I refresh also. Great job! /endSarcasm

   God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they ate all my oreos and were always peeing on my toilet seat.

   - In my effort to be considered a "normal person", I shall now close my eyes, create fictional scenario's in my head and lay still for atleast 8 hours.

   Many Jägerbombs = (Good Times + Memory Loss) / (Loss of Balance - Contents of Stomach * Hangover^115)

   What jackass put up the saints and field goal posts comment??? The Saints scored the most points in the NFL this year. Very smart fan!!

   How do you keep a New Orleans Saint out of your yard? Put up goal posts.

   SHOPPERS: Bored with writing lists for that weekly shop? Simply find discarded lists in trolleys/baskets, and use them! Its spiced up my life.....