Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Happy run out and spend money you don't have on things you wouldn't otherwise buy to prove you love someone who if they need things bought for them to prove you love them probably shows they don't truly love you anyway day!

   on the first date, don't let on that the cost of the meal worries you.

   Ah Valentines.. the day where couples are getttin it on, singles have one night stands, and others hit up the local bar and drink it up

   Two years ago I married a virgin. And if that doesnt change soon,im divorcing her.

   Happy Singles Discrimination Day!

   Happy hump day! And no I don't mean Wednesday...

   a fear of heights: Jackson Heights, Crown Heights, Washington Heights

   Happy Valentines Day baby, just to prove my love to you I am going to take you to Red Lobster today for lunch and let you get appetizers and shiattt

   in need of an ego boost. Maybe she'll take one of those "English as Second Language" courses and really take a moment to shine.

   When you don't know what to say: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

   I just harvested my crops, killed a Mafia Don, fed my fish and deleted my Facebook account

   God. I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.

   ~ Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin, it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.~

   Now With Extra Pulp, Squeezed Fresh For Your Statusfaction.

   Happy Single-Awareness Day!

   Guys Don't Worry about Today, Your Women Can Be Satisfied with Only 8.5 cm ... and It Doesn't Matter If It is VISA or MASTERCARD !!!

   I'm already a fan of good times, beer, and women..Why would I want to become a fan of anything else?!

   just heard that there is snow on the ground somewhere in every state in the union except Hawaii. Global warming, you know. . .

   Happy New Year to all my Chinese friends, and those who just want a reason to party. With it coinciding with Valentines Day, I know of one professional golfer who is planning to celebrate the 14th & all year long. After all, it IS the Year of the Tiger!

   Hey look! I am invisible!