Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 6025 of 6448

   messageicon Arizona is the only state in the US that does not observe daylight savings time or the 5th of May. (Cinco de Mayo) Today is May 4th part 2.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:29 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I guess Chely Wright really was looking for a 'Single White Female'.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:23 by Gary B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off...
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome To Sh*t Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:14 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Cinco de Mayo! Or, as they call it in Arizona, "May fifth let me see your papers."
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got carded for a box of Nicorette. I guess they don't want you to quit using tobacco until you're over 18...
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know I looked like a complete idiot on that wedding video but the camera adds 10 drinks.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if your life was a total waste of space, there's always hope that you'll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate to sound so skeptical but I'm starting to think that The Office isn't a real documentary.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon sitting upon his mighty throne, looking over his kingdom, and wearing his crown on a trobled brow. Could some one paaaaleeeeeease bring me some toilet paper.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 11:49 by jerryraaaay Comments (0)  


   messageicon having an out of money experience
←Rate | 05-05-2010 11:34 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Cinco De Drinko
←Rate | 05-05-2010 11:17 by Tyler Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish mosquitos sucked fat instead of blood.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 11:02 Comments (3)  


   messageicon For those who don't speak Spanish, Cinco De Mayo means "Hold the Mayo"
←Rate | 05-05-2010 10:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cinco De Mayo, the only day Mexicans are glad they are Mexican and celebrate for a country they were so eager to leave. So since if you aren't a Mexican today just drink like one!!!
←Rate | 05-05-2010 10:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon celebrating Cinco De Mayo by having some tequila, tacos, casadias, and cho cha
←Rate | 05-05-2010 10:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Cinco de Mayo! Viva Tequila!! Just cause me and Mr. Cuervo don't always get along, doesn't me we won't be Tangoing the night away! Fiesta !!!
←Rate | 05-05-2010 10:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe the Greeks wouldn't be so broke if they would stop having big fat weddings
←Rate | 05-05-2010 09:52 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left