Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Arizona is the only state in the US that does not observe daylight savings time or the 5th of May. (Cinco de Mayo) Today is May 4th part 2.
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05-05-2010 12:29
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I guess Chely Wright really was looking for a 'Single White Female'.
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05-05-2010 12:23 by Gary B
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Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off...
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05-05-2010 12:16 by Joser
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It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
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05-05-2010 12:15 by Joser
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Welcome To Sh*t Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
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05-05-2010 12:14 by Joser
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Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
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05-05-2010 12:12 by Joser
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It's Cinco de Mayo! Or, as they call it in Arizona, "May fifth let me see your papers."
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05-05-2010 12:10 by Joser
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Got carded for a box of Nicorette. I guess they don't want you to quit using tobacco until you're over 18...
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05-05-2010 12:10 by Joser
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I know I looked like a complete idiot on that wedding video but the camera adds 10 drinks.
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05-05-2010 12:09 by Joser
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Even if your life was a total waste of space, there's always hope that you'll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
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05-05-2010 12:09 by Joser
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I hate to sound so skeptical but I'm starting to think that The Office isn't a real documentary.
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05-05-2010 12:08 by Joser
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sitting upon his mighty throne, looking over his kingdom, and wearing his crown on a trobled brow. Could some one paaaaleeeeeease bring me some toilet paper.

having an out of money experience
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05-05-2010 11:34 by Yaj
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Happy Cinco De Drinko
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05-05-2010 11:17 by Tyler
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I wish mosquitos sucked fat instead of blood.
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05-05-2010 11:02
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For those who don't speak Spanish, Cinco De Mayo means "Hold the Mayo"
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05-05-2010 10:49
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Cinco De Mayo, the only day Mexicans are glad they are Mexican and celebrate for a country they were so eager to leave. So since if you aren't a Mexican today just drink like one!!!
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05-05-2010 10:46
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celebrating Cinco De Mayo by having some tequila, tacos, casadias, and cho cha
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05-05-2010 10:28
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Happy Cinco de Mayo! Viva Tequila!! Just cause me and Mr. Cuervo don't always get along, doesn't me we won't be Tangoing the night away! Fiesta !!!
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05-05-2010 10:01
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Maybe the Greeks wouldn't be so broke if they would stop having big fat weddings
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05-05-2010 09:52
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