Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Van Jones is correct when he says Canada would be one huge blue state. Canada, could very well be the logical man's savior.

   Didn’t think we’d see the day where Van Jones was the voice of reason…but it’s here.

   Jason11972 asked me if I wanted to meet him outside. Not really in the mood for a blowjob right now, but thanks anyways buddy.

   Usha and Melania always look so unfulfilled. I'd pay good money to watch Zelensky tag team both of them.

   Watching the Left melt down as they continue their downward spiral is awesome. 77 million voters isn’t a cult…but a bunch of voters dying their hair blue who scream on TikTok sure is.

   The embarrassing car sales stunt on the White House lawn didn't work. "Tesler's" stock lost another $50 billion in market value in 2 days LOLLLL

   His billionaire circle-jerk buddy comes from South Africa. His hats come from China. His orders come from Moscow.

   The right wing crashed the economy in 1929. The right wing crashed the economy in 2008. The right wing is crashing the economy in 2025. I'm sitting back and loving it. Burn baby burn.

   The weakest, dumbest, most pathetic coward to ever sit behind that desk. He's a joke. And I piss on him.

   This is what I hate the most. Every single morning for the next four years I, along with hundreds of millions of people around the world, have to wake up fingers crossed to see if he's dead yet.

   I'm not clutching pearls. But I did drop a few pearls on your wife's cleavage.

   My favourite stories are reading about the ones who voted for him whose lives are being destroyed right now. Now that's comedy!

   He didn't survive an assassination. It was a blood packet. Special effects. It was a complete set up. This is obvious.

   A cult is an unpopular religion. A religion, is a popular cult. It's a cult. You're a cult member.

   Egg prices are dropping. It turns out that if you stop killing chickens, they lay more eggs.

   Can't wait for the next in the occasional series of idiocy from the pearl clutching asshole who can't get over his candidate losing the election.

   A cult doesn't have 77 Million People. That's a revolution. A cult has a few thousand people with blue hair and random pronouns.

   Your country is toast.

   I just killed a huge mouse. Ripped it to bits. The staff at Disneyland are furious.

   Cats are nice