Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 138 of 6446

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 12:58
Comments (0)

If it’s out of your hands, then it deserves freedom from your mind too.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 12:43
Comments (0)

Life would be easier if we all had a video game health bar above our heads letting everyone know how close we are to a meltdown.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 12:28
Comments (0)

“I want the truth!” Independent fact checkers, with the direction of the FBI, have concluded that you can’t handle the truth.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 12:20
Comments (0)

The biggest story this week, is the suppression of a story about the suppression of a story. That story is also suppressed, we’ll have less on the story later.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 12:12
Comments (0)

Man injured in a bizarre peek- a- boo accident...He's in ICU.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 11:58 by Curly
Comments (0)

Too old for SnapChat. Too young for Life Alert.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 09:51
Comments (0)

I’m drinking coffee right now because people think you’ve got a problem if you drink vodka on a Saturday morning.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:38
Comments (0)

Please punch in your account number, phone number and the last four digits of your social security, so I can transfer you so they can ask you for those same numbers again
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:37
Comments (0)

Welcome to your fifties. Now your eyebrows grow from your left shoulder.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:36
Comments (0)

waking up with a headache was not the pounding I was hoping for
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:34
Comments (0)

I’ve got chicken fingers and a McRib, a few more parts and my monster will be complete.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:34
Comments (0)

My super power is being able to sing along to Pearl Jam without knowing a single word
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:34
Comments (0)

It’s bad when the hackers try to return your stolen identity.
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:33
Comments (0)

My mom always says if I get tattoos now they’ll look ridiculous when I’m old which is why i’m waiting till I turn 90 to get my first one
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:33
Comments (0)

If it wasn’t for “only one cashier open and it’s a cute guy in his twenties and I am buying a cart full of tampons” luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:33
Comments (0)

Sure, I’ll load the dishwasher honey. What kind of ammunition does it use?
←Rate |
01-07-2023 05:32
Comments (0)

Drivers ignoring winter conditions, may be subject to natural selection.
←Rate |
01-06-2023 19:59
Comments (0)

Once you carry your own water, you’ll learn the value of every single drop.
←Rate |
01-06-2023 19:43
Comments (0)

You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
←Rate |
01-06-2023 19:34
Comments (0)