Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   what would happen if you're scared half to death twice

   As a Social Networking Expert, I have evaluated your social media activity and your status updates. My conclusion: You're all crazy.

   I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak. (another great post by Gary K.

   Do you suppose Ghosts believe in People??

   Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from all women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

   thinks that Facebook is like a college dormitory. No matter the hour, there's always someone up. Also, someone is drunk.

   Not going to happen! I'm the king of lame comedy and I love it!

   You are one big kunt.

   GaryKoenig, please stop with horrible jokes. You're the lamest asshole on social media.

   No Epstein files will be released. Hunter Biden is not going to be President. AOC isn't either. Trump's not going to prison, neither is Obama. Cut the partisan nonsense already, you numbskulls.

   6 am too early to drink

   TSA is no longer going to use that scanner that shows passengers in the nude. They made an executive decision Today after the View Cast boarded a flight at LAX.

   GaryKoenig is back in full force.

   I saw a bumper sticker that said "May life treat you the way you treat your dog" I hope no one puts me on a leash and makes me poop outside.

   Sometimes, I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked 'wonderful tonight', or if it was the 15th outfit she tried on and he just wanted to get to the party and get a drink. 🤔🎸😂

   The proprietor of this channel has a bad case of ligginma. Ligginma nuts.

   I identify as a donkey. My pronouns are Hee/Haw.

   I have been marked safe from being on the Epstein list.

   has been marked safe from a kiss cam at a major event.

   A cop asked if I'd had anything to drink, and I thought it would be amusing to do a little Sinatra for him. So I sang, "Beers. I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention." We laughed and gave each other a high five and now I'm in jail.