Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If Silly Putty had only applied itself better in school, it would have been Sensible Putty.

   This dog has spent the past ten minutes trying to bury his doggy biscuit in a blanket. I get it, lil buddy. I'm trying to bury my milkbone too.

   Storage? Really? You really are a 3rd world troon.

   Sucking balls yesterday

   I be fancyin’ a wee bit O’ Fine Irish Ass...,, I mean..,,, Lass.

   Loser huh??? I'm not the one sitting in my mother's basement bullying and making fun of other people and trying to remain anonymous about it! If you're going to bully someone, why don't you show yourself???

   I'm really tired of the LED headlights on some cars. I'm really glad you can see 92 miles ahead, but the rest of us are blind now.

   Today I was told the world doesn't revolve around me. I think it could if some people would try harder.

   If not for our insanely stupid administration, the l*fticles wouldn't ever have anything to make fun of. Wait..... that came out wrong.

   Knock knock. Who's there? Ah. Ah who? Ah who, werewolves of London.

   So if the groundhog is too fat to see his shadow, do we get six weeks of jelly doughnuts?

   Yeah. It's callled SUSHI.

   A nickel isn't worth a dime nowadays.

   Kamala SHOULD GO TO GREENSBORO OR GREEN BAY TO SEE HOW MUCH bidens nga TAX scheme IS COSTING PEOPLE 😀

   I'm funny I tell you!

   GaryKoenig... ghey blade.

   ...involved in PROSECUTING J6ers. What a coinkidink, huh?

   Good morning haters!

   Gary Koenig for President. Seems more qualified.

   ...U.S. Attorney Candice Chiu Wong (appointed by Hussein Obama), a Chinese Woman who was one of the key attorneys involved in PROSECUTING J