Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Due to time constraints, your regularly scheduled status has been postponed. Please check back later for further updates. 
grade school tupac valentine card: instead of takin the test cupid pumped two in my chest...be mine
Chocolate is my drug of choice.
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
My mind has gone wandering. If you find it, please tell it to come home, and to bring cookies!
The train in Spain crashes mainly going way too fast.
Wanna get homeless people excercise and running?....Tell em "FREE SHOES"
I believe the smoke coming out of that Vatican chimney while they decide on a pope is all of them smoking fatties til they can come to an agreement.
Hugo Chavez...Hey hey my my, the evil dictator finally died..And once you're gone, you can't come back, your so welcome to satan's act!
Domestic terrorism is when my cleaning lady whacks me upside the head with a broom.
Don't think of it as him cheating on you. Think of it as him making a new friend and their privates were just shaking hands.
I'm a cat and when I smoke pot I gain the ability to type for 60 secmeow meow meow.
WE WAS SO BROKE GROWING UP MY MOM USE TO KNOCK MY TEETH OUT JUST SO THE TOOTH FAIRY COULD BRING US SOME MONEY
you are all small minded people here!
I wanted to tell a mexican joke today, but I didn't want to go over the border!
Shooting pool and darts are just sports for alcoholics.
"Bae" means "before anything else" I always thought it was a ghetto word for "babe"
You know you don't have to show your breasts on the Internet, sometimes leaving something to the imagination is just as sexy.
I hope in 2013 people stop taking photos or videos with a 0.2 Megapixel potato
I just got the new RG III wobble leg doll!! 