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From what I've read, Jesus never had a problem with gay people. He also never wore pants. 
Q: Is there intelligent life form on planet Earth? A: Only in a few areas.
A heart felt "Thank You" for the birthday wishes Due to sanitary reasons, I will not and cannot accept any money that comes out of bras
My First Question In Hell: What do you mean there's no ketchup and no ice water?
Ask not what your country can do for you, ask who can build a giant wall for cheap.
No matter how much you shake your peg...... The last drop always goes down your leg.
Did you hear. DEMI LOVATO New song? Sober not Sober
Since 1/20/17 I feel like I'm in the 1988 movie "The Live" and I'm one of the few people with a pair of the sunglasses.
It’s so cute when billionaire philanthropists donate less than 1%. Bless their hearts.
When my mother in-law said she wants to be creamated. I immediatley made her an appointment for next week.
Ice bank mice elf.. say it real fast 10X
I will never have abs. Because I love eating keb abs
I don't wanna say my ex thinks her sh*t doesn't stink, but she sent a couple of her turds to Febreze suggesting they make an air freshener out of them.
*quietly tries to open a bag of chips during doggy style*
I'm a bird watcher. But when I go bird watching it seem to makes the men unconfortable in the men room
Xbox has been my girlfriend for awhile, I think it's time we see other people...
Could schizophrenia be just a permanent high burnt in the brain from smoking too much? So permanent high?
My new girlfriend takes my breath away...she's insatiable and inflatable....then, sadly, I poked her.
Behind every great woman is a great behind.
So apparently your girlfriend isn't supposed to have an Adams apple. Guess that's why she only wanted an@l. 