Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I’m going to change my name to Benefits. Now when you add me on Facebook it will say, you are now friends with benefits.

   well the Oscars this year were dominated by the movie Pi....next year, I demand they make a movie named bacon....

   The Defense in this women's football team looks like it has a lot of holes to fill.

   The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.

   Grammar: The difference between knowing your s&it and knowing you’re s&it.

   Relationship status ☐ Seeing someone ☐ Not seeing anyone ☐ Your mother is a wh*re ☑ SHUT THE F&CK UP, I'M WATCHING THE BATMAN TRILOGY!

   My girlfriend says she plans to have sex tonight. I sure hope I'm invited.

   Wait now. It's OK to show g a why couples kissing but not a beautiful woman. That's BS!

   The Washington Redskins are temporarily changing their name to the "Washington Football Team", or in other words "WTF".

   Stay tuned for Cardi B's next big hit: "MIPWYTTSI"... (My Itchy Pu$$y Wants Your Tongue To Scratch It.)

   What a great Halloween. Thanks for giving us the night off Covid!

   If you don't make it in Hip Hop, there's always IHOP.

   If there is such a thing as reincarnation, please let me come back as anything but a middle-aged woman upset over guys who dump her after 3 days.

   Wonder Woman an icon representing male objectification or female empowerment?

   Two blondes were going to disneyland. When they came to a fork in the road . The sign read "disneyland left" so they went back home.

   Soooo, I went to Home Depot to pick up a power washer and BBQ grill. With everyone wearing face masks 😷I brought home the wrong wife. After shes done with the deck I'm taking her back! 🤣 🤣 🤣

   If you don't think this quarantine has changed people, I just want to point out that Jake from State Farm is no longer white

   Carrot top gave the greatest performance the White House correspondents' dinner has ever seen. Greatest ever!

   It's Be THE Best. There you go, I fixed it for you. You're welcome!

   Bought a stick deodarant. Instruction say "remove cap and push up bottom"....... I have trouble walking, but when I fart, the room does smells nice.