Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   When nothing goes right....go left.

   These are my Hammer pants; you can't touch them.

   I wanna get Papa John Pizza Wasted!!!!

   money isn't the key to happiness? then where is the key? hidden in a stupid box somewhere, like in Pirates Of The Caribbean?

   In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man doesn't have to worry about people staring at his patch.

   When I grow up, I wanna be those guys that wipe the sweat off the basketball courts

   Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

   can't believe he got sacked from the calendar factory...All he did was take a day off.

   We now go live to ollie williams with an update on _____ Ollie? HES/SHES SLEEPING! thanks ollie

   wonders if you know how to tell a real cowboy from a fake one in the kitchen? The real cowboy would be on the range.

   My dads in the CIA but I'm not allowed to talk about it or something.

   wishes Beiber's job would be exported to India.

   Talk like a angel, act like a angel yet a devil in disguise!!

   attn: hackers...computer viruses are so 2001...let's come up with something new

   If you had another brain it would be lonely! :)

   Lady, there is a differnece between "Love Handles" and "Tail Lights"

   needs sum fuggin bug spray now!!! a flame thrower would b nice to hav also.....

   Hopes he doesnt black out, cause this is awesome!

   off to Mamby Pamby land for some self-confidence...

   Finds that the best place to pick up women is at the Immigration Office.