Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I wonder if Steve Jobs is in hell and they've given him a BlackBerry.

   I think I just had a wardrobe malfunction................................

   Dear Women, You know when you pull your bra thru your sleeve & stuff it into the couch? That's as close to us as you'll ever be. Love, Men

   man, I gotta stop insulting people.. anyway, I hope your having a good day and go F**k yourself..

   I get zero respect in this house and I know for a fact that I'm the toughest one in here.

   My refrigerator beeps for a problem, but it has trouble being more specific... "What's that, little guy? Timmy's fallen down the well?"

   If all else fails in my life I can always become a priest and earn a living through that gig.

   Pissing people off since 1989....And getting better at it everyday !!!

   Heard they let some women into that fancy Augusta golf course. There is no shame in that. This is America, nobody likes a sausagefest.

   I came I saw I did not take it in the ass.

   Three things cannot be long hidden …… The sun, The moon and The truth.

   I'm really sorry LMFAO, I'm gonna have to start shuffling every other day. The soles of my shoes are wearing out too quickly.

   Did anyone see Anderson Cooper reporting the news live from the heart of raining missles in Gaza. He looked so brave crouching behind the wall of his hotel balcony with his extra white hair....

   The evil that men do is nothing compared to the evil that women will spend an entire lifetime plotting.

   When I get to where I'm going, will somebody please tell me where I am?

   I'm way too cool for you boy, that's why it will never work...

   The tag "in bed" that makes fortune cookies so funny, makes Mother's Day cards creepy. Just sayin' (uncle Bill!).

   uhhhh.. usually I have something to wirte. But today, Nada

   There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

   No, it's NOT cute for a guy to call another guy/girl "Bestie".