Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   i cant get addicted I use a bong it filters all the addictive stuff....dale pinapple express

   String theory is the basis of our universe?? So, God made us in a macramé class??

   Nothing makes people happier than when you are wrong and they are right.

   like this and like that and like this and uh

   finished fitting a flux capacitor to his landrover and just realised it wont do 88 mph, NOT EVEN DOWNHILL.

   's life is alot like joining the army. It's not just a job, it's an adventure!

   has fly kicked the sheepdog....choke slammed the shepard, and is just about to jump that big fence to see whats on the other side!.

   the best money can buy...or bribe.

   Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable

   Can't find my job location on his Gps. so I just can't make it to work today

   playing hide and seek with a guy called Trouble. Its as if he wants me to find him.

   out for a morning ride.. on my pet giraffe

   darted around the aisle suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible. just finished watching the movie and couldn't get the tune out of my head. Plus I had about 4 Red Bulls. Too bad for you!

   "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else!"

   thinking who every said that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush has been putting their bird in the wrong bushes.

   annoyed by old people and think they should all be stangled at birth.

   : The Jacson Five are now The Jackson 4

   wishes he could grow hair out of his ears. Girls love a mature and well established man, and whats more mature and well established than a guy with ear hair?

   getting on a boat with T-pain...hell yeah

   Whiskey is yellow, Vodka is clear, but I ain't got neither of those so I'm just setting here drinkin' a beer.