Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out....
←Rate | 04-07-2011 00:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever see me in person, don't poke me. In real life I loathe when folks do that. Unless you give me the numbers and expiration date first on your card and you show me 2 ID's.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 18:48 by Omen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless you're in a resturant and you know the person has already eaten it's not a good thing to see someone walk out a restroom useing a toothpick.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 14:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad this past week's earthquake is the most movement we have seen coming from Congress in sometime now.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 07:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Labor Day weekend and I am still deep in LABOR.......
←Rate | 09-05-2011 00:29 by Oregon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting mad at people because you did something stupid only makes you an angry stupid fool.
←Rate | 09-05-2011 04:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Homeland security says the informat they have is a good source. Sounds to me the source may be part of the problem.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 17:19 by Rick Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess we know what the Pope is giving up for lent...being the Pope...
←Rate | 02-11-2013 15:34 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon men really don't want their minds blown...
←Rate | 02-22-2013 08:41 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's have martinis together and then fight to the death with the tiny plastic swords.
←Rate | 02-23-2013 13:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a dentist and a manicurist had a fight. it was quite a battle,in fact they fought tooth and nail.
←Rate | 02-24-2013 13:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing tests a woman like having to stop talking for 2 f uckin minutes whilst she’s brushing her teeth
←Rate | 02-26-2013 12:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon yo' mama is so fat that when she walked infront of the TV last Saturday night, we missed the entire third period of the hockey game.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 19:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I make people guess the secret ingredients in my brownies.. hallucinating yet?
←Rate | 03-05-2013 10:09 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can someone get Seal Team Six some round trip tickets to my X-girlfriends house?
←Rate | 03-07-2013 06:53 by D-woo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you a low budget movie, because you are boring?
←Rate | 03-19-2013 01:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just lost 50 lbs. Time to put it all back on again.
←Rate | 03-20-2013 21:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my wife thinks she marred a sex therapist cause she keeps saying if I want your f ning advise I will ask you for it
←Rate | 03-22-2013 11:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best way to ruin my day is by asking me, "How's life treating you?" or "What's new?".
←Rate | 04-10-2013 12:47 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell me where I stand so I can decide what to do with this grenade.
←Rate | 12-28-2012 02:27 Comments (0)  



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