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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out....
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04-07-2011 00:04
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If you ever see me in person, don't poke me. In real life I loathe when folks do that. Unless you give me the numbers and expiration date first on your card and you show me 2 ID's.
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08-02-2011 18:48 by
Omen
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Unless you're in a resturant and you know the person has already eaten it's not a good thing to see someone walk out a restroom useing a toothpick.
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08-19-2011 14:34
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It's sad this past week's earthquake is the most movement we have seen coming from Congress in sometime now.
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08-28-2011 07:16 by
Marshall the Great
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It's Labor Day weekend and I am still deep in LABOR.......
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09-05-2011 00:29 by
Oregon
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Getting mad at people because you did something stupid only makes you an angry stupid fool.
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09-05-2011 04:18
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Homeland security says the informat they have is a good source. Sounds to me the source may be part of the problem.
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09-10-2011 17:19 by
Rick
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I guess we know what the Pope is giving up for lent...being the Pope...
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02-11-2013 15:34 by
JEBI
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men really don't want their minds blown...
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02-22-2013 08:41 by
YODA
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Let's have martinis together and then fight to the death with the tiny plastic swords.
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02-23-2013 13:35
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a dentist and a manicurist had a fight. it was quite a battle,in fact they fought tooth and nail.
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02-24-2013 13:24
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Nothing tests a woman like having to stop talking for 2 f uckin minutes whilst she’s brushing her teeth
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02-26-2013 12:03 by
Baddie
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yo' mama is so fat that when she walked infront of the TV last Saturday night, we missed the entire third period of the hockey game.
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03-01-2013 19:44
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I make people guess the secret ingredients in my brownies.. hallucinating yet?
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03-05-2013 10:09 by
David
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Can someone get Seal Team Six some round trip tickets to my X-girlfriends house?
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03-07-2013 06:53 by
D-woo
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Are you a low budget movie, because you are boring?
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03-19-2013 01:37
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Just lost 50 lbs. Time to put it all back on again.
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03-20-2013 21:11
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my wife thinks she marred a sex therapist cause she keeps saying if I want your f ning advise I will ask you for it
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03-22-2013 11:48
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The best way to ruin my day is by asking me, "How's life treating you?" or "What's new?".
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04-10-2013 12:47 by
Kisstopher
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Tell me where I stand so I can decide what to do with this grenade.
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12-28-2012 02:27
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