Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   There is no such thing as instant experience.

   My G/F gave me a wonderful birthday present. She let me win an argument. Then took it away by never letting me forget it.

   Sir Alex Ferguson is furious with Ashley cole after seeing pictures of horror tackle,Wouldn't be the first time pictures of his tackle have got him in trouble

   Never blow your nose while sitting on the pot, ignorance is bliss.

   in theory, if you run around a tree at the speed of light, you could kick your own a$$!

   I Participated in a food drive today..went to Harvey's..umm delicious..!!

   I absentmindedly ate a whole jug of dried apricots last night and now I'm applying for maternity leave.

   Trying really hard to have a good day. There is not nearly enough genital touching going on for that to happen though.

   a womans mind is like a baby's diaper...gets changed many times throughout the day

   just read that A.C. Nielsen Jr., pioneer of TV ratings firm, died yesterday as well, but due to news of Steve Jobs it was overlooked and Mr. Nielsen only received an 8.5 rating.

   well at least Quikflix lived up to its name.

   Not sure if girl is posting song lyrics.....or about to kill herself -__-

   Just finished some great games of racquetball. What a great way to relieve stress and lower your blood pressure, almost as good as ...................... but not quite!

   Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring. Ciao

   Does this Senate Bill 5 have anything to do with a foot long sub?

   I heard smartphones play chess, but I've been at this table all day and dude won't even move his pawns.

   *scratching neck and chin..."I gotta tell you something Joe Rogan....I take Charlie Sheen"

   You see a big brown van blocking you in a parking space......I see logistics!!

   I think this year for Madden '12 they should add a feature for the "lock out". You can be owners and players arguing over millions and billions of dollars, charge hundreds of dollars for tickets, work about 5 months out of the year and never have to worry

   How good something is has no bearing on how popular it will become.