Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   it too much to ask to get my free stolen ppv stream in HD?

   thinking it's time to stand up! My bum is numb...

   let's get married but instead of kids we have nachos!

   wondering...is it ironic to call a hug at the end of the first date the "kiss of death"?

   Sometimes I like to challenge myself AnD exercise at the same time.... Today I made it an extra five minutes just by squirming around and wiggling my foot before I had to run for the bathroom........

   If you try to use Apple's iOS 6 maps, you might discover a new unchartered continent.

   Weird. Just set fire to the gym after they played "Gangnam Style" and when I told the cops the reason they high-fived me and gave a medal.

   A stranger is just a friend you haven't alienated yet.

   Even if you are surrounded by stupid insane people ,atleast you come to know how to refrain yourself from that ingredient needed to be the same. So ironically you should respect yourself :-P

   She charged me an extra $15 disappointment fee.

   Earthday Birthday. Yeah, because as everyone knows, the day that the Earth was formed, the Gregorian calendar was already the accepted standard by which time was measured.

   Reese Whitherspoon and Taylor Swift must be somehow related coz they share same genes.

   If Steve Harvey managed to lose his oversized suits, then there is hope for you too to become a better person.

   Ann summers are launching its first range of underwear aimed specifically at the welsh market. The whole range is made entirely from pure wool

   I always break up with someone in the rain, because I'm a hopeless romantic at heart.

   sarc my second favorite asm

   VODKA: the boredom killer.

   It's not like I think money buys happiness. I just doubt I'd be happy without it.

   It’s after 18 beers that you realise trees make more sense than people.

   I wish I was R Kelly, there are a lot of people I need to pee on.