Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   not all women are annoying,,, some are dead

   If the TV news only showed him when he told the truth, he would never be on TV.

   Whenever I call a Jewish friend and they don't answer... I worry Mel Gibson has killed and eaten them.

   hates it when overweight people who don't take care of their body give weight advice! Look- when you're so fat that when you order a water-bed a freaking blanket is layed over the Pacific Ocean, do not come preaching nutrition to me.

   According to Sarah PalinUSA a "gotcha question" is any question she cannot answer aka all questions.

   You put a little vodka in the Jello shots and its all ok, but let me put in a little cystal meth and all of a sudden I'm the bad guy.....

   I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you.

   GOP = Greed Over Patriotism

   666 is no longer the number of evil. It is now 45.

   Hey "hi how ah you" you,and your ignorant quotes about religion SUCK!

   OJ has been granted parole. He should put on a hoodie and go buy some Skittles in George Zimmerman's neighborhood.

   You believe some dude walked on water but being g ay is unnatural?

   Me- I kinda like this girl Girl- Really? Who ???? Me- Ummmmm She kinda looks like you Girl- aww is it me? ;) ♥ Me- No!! Your sister lol

   Ladies, please don't forget, safe sex is your responsibility

   What the hell is humourous whit, and why would anyone brag about it?

   I remember the day I used to be so proud of my son. Now look at him.

   If God didn't want me to have sex all the time, maybe he shouldn't have blessed me with this pretty huge d ick.

   I bet John Lennon would have loved online transactions. Imagine all the PayPal...

   i wish that I had jessie's girl...=(

   I just texted my ex "God Bless You" cause I seen her sneeze through my Binoculars