Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The only thing lower than don's approval raitings is his supporter's IQs

   Why do we only rest in peace? Why don't we live in peace too?

   Whenever I see a Mattress on top of a car, I wonder to myself if its a prostitute makin house calls

   Wow, are we really so broke that Obama has to take the bus to work too?

   CNN tried to blame me for 9-11. On that day I turned on the tv and the guy said " if you're just turned on your tv,the world trade center has been destroyed".

   i lost my phone. let me call it. oh crap its on vibrate! EVERYONE SHUTUP!!

   Women like having four animals in the house: a jaguar in the driveway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskull to pay for it.

   I saw the commercial for Southwest that advertized "Bags Fly Free" and I thought it said "Fags Fly Free". I got sooo excited for a minute!

   A young boy comes home from school one day and says, "Mommy! What's a lesbian?" She replied, "Ask your father when she gets home!"

   Why do members of the military wear their uniforms on game shows? Are they going to battle after the taping?

   If your wife totally let's herself go and looks nothing like when you dated her, you should be allowed to divorce her.

   Why is weed illegal and alcohol isn't? Weed is completely harmless man! Smh

   regretting all their wasted time on my space

   Dear god, If you give us back Kurt Cobain, we'll give you Lady GaGa!

   should be arrested for being awesome.

   pondering why in the hell people type so much in their status box

   planning his life #1 get married #2 get a house #3 have a baby #4 Sell baby for dream car #5 have another baby

   The only difference between Obama and Osama is BS

   Who is the genius who decided to call them Dentures and not Substitooths?

   It's true, our country sucks at soccer....but at least our kids aren't starving!