Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Mayweather is a Legend. Its just a shame he practices on his girlfriend and kids.
←Rate | 05-06-2012 11:56 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your dad once had a shop towel that he used to clean up oil and grease. That towel grew up to be Russell Brand.
←Rate | 05-16-2012 15:41 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Politicians don't wanna scare you, they wanna keep you stupid. Fear is just the smell when ignorance takes a sh!t.
←Rate | 05-16-2012 16:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon To poke or not to poke. That is the question.
←Rate | 05-20-2012 11:53 by IW Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for life. Give an octopus nunchuks, no one's eating fish ever again
←Rate | 05-22-2012 09:09 by sweetlikeantifreeze Comments (0)  


   messageicon excuse me......Is that a spray on tan or did you roll in a bag of doritos???????????????????
←Rate | 05-31-2012 21:10 by corey c Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
←Rate | 09-03-2012 00:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I amNOT a ride OR die chick. I have questions. Like where are we riding to? And why I gotta die? Cant I just be your stay at home and take care of the kids chick?
←Rate | 10-21-2012 13:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stan: Cartman did you just say the F word?. Cartman: you mean J ew?
←Rate | 12-23-2012 06:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Microsoft, I don't want to Send an Error Report because I already have a inferiority complex.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 14:34 by oregon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone tells your their birthday, you immediately add 3 months to see when their parents screwed. Everyone does that, right?
←Rate | 01-07-2013 13:45 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon smoking a blunt with Justin Bieber.....
←Rate | 01-08-2013 10:04 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon you can't call a show Golden Globes and then show a bunch of skinny girls!!
←Rate | 01-14-2013 09:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tig Olbitties would make a good stripper name!!
←Rate | 02-18-2013 23:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cemeteries: Saving me on buying flowers since High School.
←Rate | 02-19-2013 14:41 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When is a good time to mention St Patrick wasn't Irish, he was the son of slave-owning Roman nobility born in England and his color wasn't green, it was blue? Not today then?
←Rate | 03-17-2013 14:54 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10............................... It's actually pretty elementary meth
←Rate | 04-11-2013 19:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet it's confusing for gays with walk-in closets. You're in, you're out, you're in, you're out.
←Rate | 05-01-2013 20:32 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X She's never coming back and don't ask Y
←Rate | 05-07-2013 19:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,,,If you watch that last episode of Cops backwards, they uncuff my Dad, let him drive off recklessly, chase him, then give up..
←Rate | 07-29-2012 21:25 by snotty Comments (0)  



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