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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Thanksgiving is that one special day where an innocent man on Death Row gets to turn on the TV and watch the President pardon a Turkey. 454 retweets 986 likes
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11-27-2015 14:19
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What you never hear if you live in Santa Clarita.."I'll be back in a few minutes"
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12-12-2015 11:11 by
Teri
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Good Morning Good afternoon and good evening ....in other words its all good
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03-11-2014 06:37 by
MWC
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If someone will fund it, I'll go to the rainforest and just lick stuff until I find a cool new drug.
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03-14-2014 15:25 by
StonerDudee
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*Oprah gets up to do Harvard's commencement speech*... And you get a diploma and you get a diploma and you get a diploma and you get a diploma
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03-29-2014 19:24 by
snotty
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Question of the day: If somebody threw a rock and knocked you off your donkey would be considered stoned of your a$$?
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04-16-2014 21:28 by
Cory
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Even though Kanye West DID NOT compare himself to Nelson Mandela, would it really surprise anyone if he actually had?
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12-08-2013 11:33 by
DeeX
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MTV has canceled teen mom 3, because they know when to pull out.
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12-12-2013 20:47 by
Will G
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I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.
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12-14-2013 11:57 by
Kisstopher707
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I hate it when people call me sexist. Some of my closest friends belong in the kitchen.
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01-11-2014 01:15 by
Baddie
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It is becoming clear to me that the North beat the South in the Civil War by shooting fake snow at them out of cannons.
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02-02-2014 05:14 by
Bob B
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Sorry I put Vaseline on your windshield wipers.
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02-17-2014 12:07
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*cooking omelette for wife..... Me: “Want extra cheese, babe?”...Wife: “Sure baby”... * Slowly turns up Nickleback cd...
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06-25-2014 11:14 by
snotty
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..Why do some women wear panties with flowers on them?....."IN loving memories of all the faces that have been buried here..."
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07-11-2014 21:53 by
Jitney
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I'm so Facebook i'm sick of seeing all these stupid I'm so posts.
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07-24-2014 16:52
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All the water "wasted" in the Ice Bucket Challenges would not be enough to help Third World countries. It's just a drop in the ocean.
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08-22-2014 09:31
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IS and the Ice Bucket Challenge must be stopped at all cost.
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08-24-2014 06:08
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Crap, only missed the Powerball by 6 numbers.
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01-13-2016 23:41
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My Friends Told Me To Get A Life,Instead I Got A Wife And Now I Miss My Life.........
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04-14-2011 15:53
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I see by your Facebook bio that you're into crafts, blogging, windmills, cats, food, earwax, wine, jazz, God, gaming. ME TOO!
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04-27-2011 12:15 by
BEGO
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