Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   remember the old 80's drug commercials..The fryin pan and the egg? This is your brain....this is your brain on drugs...any questions? yeah can I have some bacon and toast with that ?

   When there was only one set of footprints, that was when Jesus was flying. What, you don't think Jesus can FLY??

   I think I have found the answer to our h omosexual problem. The butch women who think they are men should hook up with those girly men who think they are female. Problem solved.

   Wanna have crooked green teeth? Move to the UK, you wont be out of place there

   ‎Lady Gaga came as a man ... Nicki Minaj came as GaGa & Jay-Z Came inside Beyoncé.... *LIKE* this if you agree LMAO.... :D

   if it looks, walks and talks like a duck but it smells kinda fishy, it's probably a Democrat trying to keep their office...

   doing the truffle shuffle

   I'm following around cop cars all day to let them know how it feels.

   the reason for reason

   Why is Obama so interested in "liberating" Libya anyways, is he planning a vacation there?

   90% of the prison poulation believes in God. 90% of The Academy of Sciences are atheists. Personally, I'd rather have the guy in the white lab coat as a bunk mate

   If you have time to golf during a national emergency, I guess you must be doing something right.

   I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

   Thanks for inviting me to your Bible study, let's get balls deep in Jesus.

   what's twelve inches and makes girls wanna have sex with me? my hunting knife

   I READ Smoking is bad So I gave up smoking I read drinkiing was bad so I gave up drinking I heard Sex Was bad so I gave up on reading

   I hope somebody shoots Tupac's hologram!

   Ladies are not officially old, until going braless pulls the wrinkles out of their faces.

   I went out clubbing lat night. I got 12 baby seals; a new personal record.

   I'm the cutest thing since sliced kittens.