Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   All the stupid Tebow trolls can GFY... Brady is gods chosen son sorry Bronco fans...

   A new study found that about one percent of the U.S. population is allergic to gluten, while the other 99 percent are sick of having to hear about it.

   Lil Wayne Engaged, Wiz Khalifa Engaged, Snooki Pregnant & Engaged.... Everybody got a ring but Lebron.

   Jingle bells, my foot smells, I pulled it from your ass. Get a beer and bring it here then pour it in a glass. - My Christmas song.

   *Spoiler Alert* Batman dies of throat cancer on The Dark Knight Rises .

   If I liked a pic of you and your man, it doesn't mean I'm mature... It means holla at me if he acting up.

   I turned off the tv; what was the point of watching one boring moth-er-fucker after another one.

   Saw my ex for the first time since we broke up at a diner last night. She was with another guy. So I ordered a sandwich, took a few bites, went up to their table, handed her date my leftovers and walked away.

   Oops I almost forgot its sunday today, thanks facebook friends for reminding me with your religious posts.

   Just glad Jesus died on a Friday Good Monday just doesn't 'roll' off the tongue as well

   at the point where i'm confused about which one of the american black guys being killed by police you're talking about.

   Who said, " nothing is impossible!" try nailing jello to a tree.

   I walk light so I don't piss the ground off..

   Do you work for subway? Cause you just gave me a foot long.

   I'm going to get in shape, pear is a shape...right???

   last night, I laid in bed, looking up at the stars, and thought to myself, "where the hell is my roof?"

   I bet you $20 I don't have a gambling problem.

   Who know why there are so Many Birthdays in October? Simply because valentine day was nine months Ago people who are born in this month most be called fruit of love ;)

   Yo Mamas so stupid she was yelling into the mailbox. We ask her whats she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.

   Breast-feeding Mom....Y you No wink back???