Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   "If you are Jordan, Wade, Garnett or Peyton, it worked. It don't work on Leroy." --- Charles Barkley

   ..is in negotations with Vancouver. They're desperate for snow and she's sick of it.

   ready for upgrades, modifications and custom made specifications. (DP)

   My Imaginary friend asked he could bring his Imaginary friend round, but I thought 3 was a crowd so I said no!

   The definiton of success: The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted: So to be successful, set low standards, to be a failure and frustrated, set very high standards.

   Does all this updating my Facebook status make my ego look fat?

   whatever does not kill me, only make's me stranger.

   on his way to the eye doctor. Hoping for at least a 12.2 megapixel upgrade :)

   I wonder if my boss was more fun and carefree in his youth, when his name was Anakin.

   I bet that lactose-intolerant mice get picked on a lot.

   not suffering from insanity. Hes embracing every second of it.

   thank you facebook for remembering so many birthdays.

   Of all great losses in life, Time is the most irrecoverable. It can never be redeemed.

   Love me or Hate me...either way you still have a feeling for me!!

   This finger is loaded and I know how to use it.

   going to get married. So what if it is a cardboard cut-out.....don't judge me!

   The funny thing is, you can't tell if I'm naked...

   Justin Bieber to write memoir at 16. I hear his voice changes halfway through the audiobook when he goes thru puberty.

   Every day I change my birthday on Facebook to THAT day just for all the attention.

   We were so enamored that we forgot to check his qualifications