Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   just not the same since the house fell on my sister

   Some days I'm not sure whether I am a Catholic or an angry Protestant!

   Silly Balloon Boy Dad. The only way you can get away with lying to the American people and toying with their emotions is to be a politician.

   Messin with Sasquatch

   WAIT!... I'm still Loading ████████████ 99%

   ... all in all we're just another brick in the Wal(Mart).

   well god already hates me cause I dint 4wrd mail to 25 friends of mine. I will never be a wealthy man cause I dint 4wrd another mail of happy wealth to another 25 friends.i will never get the love of my life cause I dint 4wrd love chain mail to another 2

   Excuse me,God,but this fig leaf is much too small!

   They said the baby looked like me. Until they turned him the right way up.

   thinks that when NASA conducts their search for "itelligent life" in the universe, they should first start with Earth.

   wonders how you are going to feel when Facebook starts charging a usage fee. It's just a matter of time. Greedy corporate clones...

   80's music is so 2002

   No I havent lost my mind......i sold it on ebay!!!

   Please put this as your status if you know, or are related to, someone killed on Alderaan when it was obliterated by the Death Star. The Rebel Alliance wants to bring peace to the galaxy, but the Galactic Empire continues to kill innocent civilians. 93% w

   Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

   I have a small request to make to you. Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on a holiday.

   Why are Softballs hard?

   going to quit drinking , when I woke up this morning my liver was sitting on the night stand smoking a cigarette and creaming at me "You B*stard

   Before you send me any sick jokes about that murderer in the North East don't bother. It's not even rauolmoatly funny.

   Why's Lil Wayne still in Jail? Someone should work on breaking him out. Call T-Pain, I hear he has a boat.