Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I was thinkin bout her, thinkin bout me, what we gonna be? open my eyes, yeah... it was only just a dreammmmmmmmm .....

   maybe we can chug on over to mamby pamby land, where Maybe we can find some self-confidence for you, ya Jackwagon!! ...... tissue? ...... crybaby

   got bored with the eclipse and watched Lord of the G-strings instead.

   courtesy just isn't that common anymore. That and decent customer service.

   its a beautiful day in Mr. rodgers neighborhood.. .

   - Every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the goddamn refrigerator. Eatin' up all the food. All the chitlins... All the pig's feet... All the collard greens... All the hog maws. I wanna eat them chitlins... I like pigs feet.

   Never buy anything from a man who is out of breath...

   trying to think of ways to coax the gerbil out. Shoulda known they could chew through a sock

   When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.

   Males are born with a closed fist.Girls are born with the left hand cramped in a position of the size of a credit card!

   I guess the cop knew I was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home

   Alzheimer's can't be all bad. You get to meet new people every day

   I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.

   if I had a nickel for evertime I ignored your friends request, I could buy facebook with all my change..

   I hired Helen Waite as my assistant. So if you need anything from me you must go to Helen Waite.

   Disrespect: Giving someone half the peace sign without suggesting they are number one

   thank you for keeping me sober facebook....you are another source of support and you dont have any idea...i check in with friends and it keeps me busy...thank you

   Just walked in the shower with my socks on....AGAIN

   as I once heard from a Scottsman "Well Oil Beef Hooked"!

   I will not listen to people who burst my bubble because they are always negative. But I will listen to people who I know have my best interests at heart even if they burst my bubble.