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Ever seen a chick so fine you swear that she must be a retard coz it wouldnt be fair for her to be that fine AND smart too?
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04-19-2013 12:02
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Just because you're perfectionist doesn't mean you're perfect; you might be hopelessly unhappy with yourself.
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04-19-2013 20:58
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I hate it when me and my subconscious is having a heated debate...and just when I come up with good comebacks, it thinks up a even better one! I thought about drinking on Friday, subconscious said "how about now!".... good one!
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05-02-2013 14:16 by
Jitney
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The chupacabra does not deliver presents on Cinco De Mayo
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05-05-2013 09:09
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show me the benefits part and THEN i'll let you know if we can be friends
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05-08-2013 18:06 by
equaloppjoker
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It's hard for me to take the things you say seriously when I know what's been in that mouth of yours.
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05-13-2013 13:46 by
Prince Shawn
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I've heard the song 'This Is How We Do It' like a million times, but it's still very unclear to me.
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05-14-2013 02:28 by
BigSarge
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has some advice for the guys out there... Never put tiger balm on and then go to the bathroom.
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05-19-2013 06:43 by
DangerMouse
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No, you idiot! I said 'avert' your eyes, not 'invert' them. Wow, that's disgusting!
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05-28-2013 23:03 by
snotty
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I'm not shy around women. I'm realistic.
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06-18-2013 13:12
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pick a number from 1 to 10 and add it to your age....think of a colour and clodse your eyes...................................dark isn't it?
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06-21-2013 13:46
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R.I.P to all the virginity that will be lost tonight.
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12-21-2012 07:55 by
@SheRidesTheD
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i don't get it...tonight theres millions of breaking & entering cases but nobody calls the police because they get bought off with presents
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12-25-2012 00:13 by
Eddy
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At a nerd wedding they don`t say, "I do." They say, "I accept the terms and conditions."
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12-29-2012 14:19 by
Geod
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kids at the front door selling drugs!!!! I got 3 boxes of thin mints coming!
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01-09-2013 20:40 by
flipphonescott
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I think this buddy of mine is becoming really good at fishing coz all his neighbors call him a MASTER BAITER!....bravo buddy!
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01-11-2013 11:16 by
tarwadi
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an intelligent carbon based lifeform.
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01-16-2013 02:28
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Manti Te'o watches Clint Eastwood speaking to an empty chair *nods approvingly*
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01-16-2013 19:59 by
Doc Noland
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there's a million fish in the sea and I'm just worm to attract them!
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01-19-2013 10:29
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I love you but I'm not, "I want us to be miserable together," in love with you.
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01-21-2013 00:19
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