Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Was watching Bon Jovi unplugged was how I was gonna start this update til I realized I was admitting to watching Bon Jovi Unplugged!

   Loosely translated, Cinco de Mayo means "destroy their livers."

   On this rediculously windy day I have decided to reinforce my toupee with extra strength polly grip

   Google's PacMan Game Cost the World $120 Million‎... :O

   What do I mean, "inner geek"? I'm deluding myself -- I'm pretty much geek all the way through.

   always tells people they'll miss me when I'm gone and they say, "How can we miss you if you won't leave!"

   wonder what the Elves think of Rudolph after listening to "Roxanne" by The Police?

   Next stop... THANKSGIVING! Stand clear of the food and cold please!

   When can we expect Randy Moss to ask Randy Moss how Randy Moss feels about being waived?....

   And ps... you should'nt sing a song with an "s" in the title if you have a lithp!

   Been thinking of things I could do today, leaning towards going to Victoria's Secret and looking around.

   having a hard time deciding between a Boston Pancake or a German Knuckle Sandwich!

   Wish in one hand & crap in the other... See which gets filled first.

   Cartwheels?...... In this economy?

   I wanna be the reason you hire a private investigator.

   A lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets is impossible. The good freaks wouldn't limit it to a bed. I'll take the freak everywhere

   Posting pictures of a huge supply of hard liquor isn't going to impress anyone but your toxicologist.

   My Doctor tried telling me I'm suffering from a split personality, I told him he was incorrect, as we're both just fine.

   Be thankful for who you are, because there might be someone out there who wishes to be you.

   Clark Kent’s mask is a pair of glasses? And no one recognised him? I wore glasses to the job I was fired from and I was still kicked out.